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| 2008.
a whirlwind of memories. swirls of events, moments, and people. how do you sum up a year?
i've been thinking recently. reflecting on the last twelve months starting from last january. a lot of has changed. we know life always changes. you change, i change, we all change. the places we go, the things we do, the way we think. the things you held dear one year, vanish the next. the things you do, get lost in time. the people you love, disappear along the way. change is hard.
but....
change is good.
change is what keeps us going. guessing. it pushes us to the top of the hill, so that we may see the horizon below. excitement. wonder. hope. For what lies ahead. Growth. That’s how I would sum up my 2008. More than just a year of change, but a year of growth. Starting from January 2008, my new years resolution was about understanding what it means to live through God’s Love. A resolution that I am happy to say I’ve kept and discovered this past year. I think without that mentality and that openness of discovering a deeper and truer love, this past year would’ve been a difficult one. 2008. I felt comfortable. In a way that was suffocating myself without even realizing it. I loved with a big part of my heart only to learn how to live with a little heartache every day. Giving up on something, or someone can be one of the hardest things you do. It would’ve been easy to fall apart, to break down, to give up all together, to stay comfortable right where I was in my little box, but that’s not what 2008 was meant to be about. It was to be about truly loving. Loving through the pain, through the sadness. Loving others more than yourself. Love overflow.
Anyways.. to pick up the pace of this post. 2008 taught me about standing on my own two feet. gaining confidence in myself. living for more. doing more. brought me insight on judgment and judging others. taught me about leadership. humbling yourself. serving with the right heart. motivation and inspiration. pushing yourself. opening my eyes to things beyond. 2008 brought disappointment and frustration. dedication and success. 2008 left behind some relationships. 2008 discovered new relationships. 2008 strengthened old relationships.
So. when 2009 rolled around this year and i was thinking about possible new year's resolutions... i had trouble coming up with one that i felt really passionate about. i contemplated what challenging yet reachable goal could i accomplish that could really focus me on living out 2009 to its fullest? While i have many thoughts and ideas, i don't think i'll come up with one single line like last year's "Understanding what it means to live through God's Love." In fact, last year's is just as good as this year's... so perhaps it'll be to just go deeper...
Originally I was going to go with something along the lines of "Learning to live without." I feel like many of us get caught up with things, routines, and people that take away from what's really important in life. and while i still think this is true and had every intention of stripping away one of the things that has had a large impact on me... i somehow ended 2008 with a ray of hope. and i think... hope is what i'd rather look forward to in 2009.
especially now. hope is something worth believing in...
anyways. just a glimpse of my thoughts. nothing in totality by any means.
please pray for my daddy.
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| so thanksgiving break...
had its ups and downs...
but really, overall.....
quite good.
aaaannndddd
stuck at the airport for 5 hours. wheee.
6:15pm flight delayed till 11:30pm. didnt get back to my dorm until 2am.
i'm tired.
perhaps more later.
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so we just got back from our Chorale Fall Tour on Friday night. What a great experience as usual. the tour consisted of 7 concerts in the span of 48 hours. haha as i said to many people during the trip, "all we do is Sing, Sit, and Eat." literally. if we weren't singing, we were sitting on the bus, or eating in a restaurant. we sang at many highschools in PA including Boyertown High school, Lehigh High school, Central Daulphin High, Juniata High, a combined concert with PennState University Concert Choir and Pennstate Highschool chorus, and also sang at a beautiful acoustic church as our last stop.
Among one of our many stops at the highschools, we gave time at the end for the high schoolers to ask us any questions regarding music, college, etc. One of the kids asked the question above: What makes you wake up every morning and actually go to class and do the things you have to do?
wow. what a great question. and what a simple one to answer. Find your passion. find what makes you happy and run with it. make it yours. make it something you own and hold dear. make it personal. make it special. Many of my fellow colleagues gave answers about how music is the one thing the love and can see themselves doing forever. They gave answers about how music is so powerful and all consuming. How it's one of the best ways for them to connect with, to have a release with, and escape to. How music and is something they love to do, and at college you are building yourself to be a better singer. a better musician. you're really studying something that you're actually interested in. that you actually enjoy. so why wouldn't you want to wake up and go to class and make more out of the thing you love to do everyday?
while these were all great answers... many of which i agree with.... i felt very lucky and blessed. because for me it goes so much deeper than that. yes, while music is all these wonderful and amazing things, music to me goes beyond just a love. it's a passion of mine. it's a blesssing. it's a gift. looking back, i feel like i got lucky to have found what i want to do for the rest of my life, so early on. i remember back in high school.... senior year approaching... the thought of college and what you want to be in the future looming over your head. yes, i struggled a little with what i wanted to be "when i grow up," but luckily only a little. i knew all along that i've always wanted to do something with kids. i love kids. i think they are one of heaven's joys. and from there i knew i wanted to become a teacher ever since i was a little girl. perhaps it's the fact of having such great role models in my life, and the desire to be that kind of pillar for another person out there that called me to go into education. especially with kids and teenagers in our generation nowadays. they're so impressionable. many are still trying to figure themselves out. figure out what they're good at, figure out what their purpose is in life, figure out and make sense of the world around them. and they need people to guide them. they need someone to listen to them. someone to mold them and someone to show them that they can make it. that they will make it. hope.
i still remember when i was a freshman in high school. i struggled a lot. i felt like i was never smart enough. i still remember writing into my wooden homework desk "i'm so stupid." it's still there. but somewhere along the way, i realized what made me happy. what i was actually good at. and honestly, it's nothing i can say that i did to have such a talent, but a blessing from God that i was GIVEN such a talent that i could be proud of. i remember thinking in high school, "okay. college is coming soon. what am i going to do? what can i see myself doing for the rest of my life? what am i actually good at?" and luckily, i was able to look back and see that music has always been in my life in some way or another. singing, for me, started in church. at the age of 6 or so, i was singing in the children's choir in my church in North Carolina. by 6th-7th grade, i was singing on the worship team with my church in Delaware. by senior year in highschool, i was a student worship leader at my church in Massachusettes. and all along the way i sang in my school choruses, sang in All-state choruses, sang in All-eastern. music has always been in my life. singing has always been in my life. and for me, music has always been the thing that connects me the most with my faith. it's been the thing that has strengthened my faith. worship. praise. and why wouldn't it? God gave me this gift. If it wasn't for that, i would still be lost right now. but He has always had a plan for me all along, and thank God that He has shown me what i'm supposed to do with this gift of mine. I feel like if i am living my life, without singing worship and praising God, then what am i even doing!? if i'm not using the gift that HE gave me to glorify HIM, then what's the point? i would be cheating myself. cheating everything i believe in.
music is a universal language. we all connect with it in some way. we all have different tastes in music. likes and dislikes. but it is the one thing that EVERY one can relate to. it lets us feel things that we cant describe in words. its the comfort we seek when we feel no one else understands. i think music is the gateway to our souls.
especially in singing. which is why i love singing in a group setting. which is why i hope to direct my own choir one day. it's the best feeling when you are making music with other people around you, singing about a common topic or piece of music. i am always constantly reminded of this in Chorale. Dr. Head is an amazing director. when he directs and teaches, it's not just about the notes or the rhythms on the page, its about creating beyond the unseen and the unheard. when we sing together and make music together, we are all connected for that one moment. that one moment when nothing else matters except for the music. the message. the meaning. the passion. and we are so lucky. to be able to experience such an incredible moment. just think about it. imagine it. so lucky.
i am truly blessed. because when people ask me why do you want to be a music teacher? while i can simply say that i love music, and say that i can't see myself doing anything else, it's really more like.... what else is there if not music? if not God? So, "What makes you wake up every morning and actually do the things you do?" Simple. I do it for God. because that is what He has called me to do. because He has given me everything. who am i to say no.
i want to teach. i want to inspire. i want to lead. i want to change someone's life for the better.
and i believe through God, that music is one of the best ways to do it.
What makes YOU get up every morning and actually do the things you do?
Find your passion. Find what makes you happy and run with it. Find your passion.
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| well. it's been a good summer. on to a new year.
and i should be sleeping now. oh boooy.
EDIT:
first full day back at school....
1) already had my first trip while walking
2) banged/bruised/cut my knee on a chair
3) SOOO good to see VISION AGAIN!
4) Chorale never ceases to amaze me and make me happy =D
5) hugs hugs hugs. love the hugs! =D
so tired. early day tomorrow! man... still cant believe school is really here.
i think i'm ready. 
BTW! SKYPE is my new favorite thing. hahaha well no. webcams! THAT'S my new favorite thing! (yes, i know i'm behind on technology. my next mission is to purchase a good recording mic  )
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| a few things to share: 1) currently reading Randy Pausch's book "The Last Lecture." Good stuff. i suggest you pick it up. 2) recently became a fan of Justin Nozuka. up and coming artist (i love those types). half canadian, half japanese. 19 years old (born 1988). 6 out of 7 children. an AMAZING voice. he writes a lot of mature songs. deep and serious topics. a lot of emotion. makes it hard to listen to sometimes. but very raw. sets him apart from others. really good stuff. my two favorites from his album: "Save Him" written for his foster brother. true story. very sad. and the happier (yay!) song --> "After Tonight" looooove =) last week of work. whoo! i'm tired. | | |
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